I needed to get rid of him.
He told me to lye on the bed next to him. I did hesitantly. He cuddled me and told me I needed someone to take care of me. I agreed. It might have been nice if I wasn’t so uncomfortable.
He asked me for a kiss.
I kissed him
I did not enjoy it.
I wish I had
How easy life would be with him
He asked me what it would take for me to consider it being an ‘arrangement’
Now I really did feel like pretty women.
I wanted him to leave.
He left 10 mins later.
I kissed him goodbye again on the lips. Its felt strange. Like kissing someone’s dad.
I couldn’t sleep
I ordered more champagne. More strawberries. And ate all the peanuts, crisps and sweet suggerd almonds on top of the mini bar.
The fraggle messaged me on Facebook. We talked for about 2 hours. He couldn’t sleep either. Wen I cant sleep I watch stand up comedy. Particularly Dylan Moran. I like his manner. He makes me feel like I’m somehow safe. Somehow everything is better with Dylan Moran playing next to me on my laptop. Wen the fraggle cant sleep he watches documentaries on the tsunami. And I thought I was fucked up.
It was 4am. I still couldn’t sleep. I had 2 beers. And half a glass of red wine.
I felt restless. And sad. And angy. And scared. And lonely.
I decieded I needed to cry.
And I did.
It felt good
I thought about my ex fiencee and how he left me for Italy.
I felt sorry for myself. And cryed some more.
Then I slept
I woke up the next day and felt a little thinner. Im not sure why. Maybe I cried out all the champagne.
I texted joe peece saying I was going to use the spa again and get some treatments. I was going to push this as far as I could. Plus I wanted to get some products as presents for ‘diamond’ my friend who had been minding my dog.
He didn’t object.
The treatments were all booked up. So I spend £300 in products from the shop and put it on the room. They also sold jewelry in the hotel shop. I bought my friend ‘diamond’ a fake diamond ring for £89.
And then I went for a swim.
I checked out around 4.30pm. After a chicken salad lunch in the garden alone . pretending to read The Guardian.
My friend called me and I pretended to be at my uncles house in west London. Not at spa in Henley on thames flirting with high class prostitution.
I checked out and ordered a cab all the way to Fulham to pick up my dog, meet diamond, and possibly slip another ‘ whats your price date.com’ in.
The whole bill came to £967 including the taxi fare. My heart was racing. I wished i could just give them back all the champagne and treatments and have the cash. I could start to pay off my overdraft.I told her to put it all on my ‘partners’ card. And left.
I got to Fulham at 5.30pm and met a man called keith from ‘whats your price.com’
He had very yellow teeth. No hair. And was verging on 5’5. I spend an hour with him and left. He put the ‘agreed date fee’ in an art magazine on the table. I didn’t check to see if it was there. I just wanted to get away and meet diamond.
It was all there.
I gave diamond £100 for looking after my dog. She is more skint than me. And it made me feel better about myself. I’m not sure she liked the ring. But it looked pretty on her finger. I wished id bought myself one too. But then it dawned on e that it was almost identicle to my old engagement ring.
I felt sick.
Sick that he had left me. And sick that it still hurt.
At least my nails looked good. And my skin was glowing. And I had a friend like diamond that I could tell everything too.
And at least I don’t have cellulite at the moment. Do u think I can put that on my CV?
I need a proper fucking job. I hate acting. And dates with fat ugly older men.
i need a therapist.
And to feel a warm muscly body up against mine that’s not over 50!
The end of the week came round. Id avoided seeing the fraggle for 3 days since id been back
I was trying to see how long I could go despite him messageing me EVERY bloody day!
On the Wednesday he had told me he was off to B and Q with his ex to help her buy a fence. I told him he would end up in bed with her. He said he felt bad and was just going to help her out and couldn’t say no as she was ‘ being really nice’ I told him he was co dependeant and to be careful. And that he would end up fucking her
He messaged me later on.
I asked him if he was naked in her bed. He said no. but he had been.
I felt jelous.
I didn’t like that.
He said you can hardly get jelous with the amount of sex you have been having.
I wanted to know what she looked like. Mainly just if she was thinner than me. Standard.
Isn’t that what all women want to know first?!
or is it just me???
TO BE CONTINUED …..
if you like this blog or want to continue hearing more then please share it… its anonymous so i don’t promote it. thank you : )